As a , why am I being bashed for not accepting my "boyfriend" when he lied to me about who he was?

I totally do! That's not fair to you if he expects you to want to be with him after he revealed to you that he's a man (or going to be one...). Love is emotional, but also physical (for most people anyway x3), and if you like women and he knew then he was pretty much taking advantage of you! So yeah, you have every right not to want to be with him. I wouldn't want to be with a guy who was going to have a change or whatever because I like MEN, not women. I mean, drag is different (even though it's still not super appealing); they at least are comfortable with being men (I ume...).