When is waiting for love not in my best interest?

In late Sept., after a night of drinking, my boyfriend asked me if I was in love with him. I told him yes and asked if he felt the same. To my horror he wouldn't give me an answer. About a month later I had a melt down and told him tearfully how awful it felt to not hear it back and wanted to know how he felt either way. I was stunned by his callousness and again he gave me no answer. He told me he had never said it before and doesn't know what love is. We have been together now for 7.5 months and I haven't brought it up again. Neither of us are Spring chickens and I don't want to waste time with someone who doesn't have plans to some day get married and start a family - let alone simply find love. Everything else in the relationship is amazing and I do love him (although most days I have to convince myself I don't to keep my sanity). But I've tried to be patient but feel so emotionally drained. I can't help that I need it articulated, I think most women do. I make no umptions based solely on actions. I wouldn't have told him first, especially after only 4 months if he had not asked and makes me feel duped! I know I'm worth loving. I've decided to wait until the end of Feb. when we have been together for 9 mos. (I want to see how Valentines Day goes). After that, I'm going to move on. Am I being reasonable? What are your thoughts?