Im a gay teen (age:14) with a chaotic low-cl spanish family who i DONT get along with, A LITTLE HELP HERE!?

i live with a spanish family (who doesnt know im gay but surely suspects it in a way that only i'd know that if they'd ever find out such a thing, they'd flip out), im on the edge of failing 9th grade so im trying really hard 2 keep my grades up, i KNOW i have depression because i get stressed, annoyed, emotional, and irritated very easily, i feel miserable sometimes, i secretly cry sometimes and question why i have such a hard life, all of this including my past experiences comes down on me each day like a 500 ft avalanche and plows me 2 the ground SO HARD that i get unexplainable feelings and mixed emotions and causes me to feel low and have no confidence with myself or in life, i can't possibly imagine what my parents would think of me if they'd every find out. i've told them many times that i feel as if i have depression, they say get help, deep down im too scared 2, we are in a big economic clash, we got no cash, i hardly have friends, the ones i have arnt good, i feel WORTHLESS..